Over the past few years, we’ve witnessed numbers of black Americans and law enforcement officers killed in shootings. A lot has been said about the black community, our families, the police, and the system; but there’s one subject that is rarely addressed: the affect these shootings on black Americans and what coping skills we should employ.
It’s easy for black Americans to see the deck as stacked in the police’s favor when disproportionate numbers of our community are killed, victims are presumed the cause of their own deaths, and the officers involved are placed on paid leave and rarely convicted.
What do you do?
Realize that you are under tremendous stress
Losing a family member, loved one, or friend even under the best circumstances is traumatic. Often times, local murders, and terror attacks that do not involve family members are traumatic in their own right. Sometimes the impact can be felt immediately, other times the affects may not be felt for a few days or even months. The thing is to be aware that you can be unknowingly subject to them.
The Pulse massacre occurred less than ten miles from where I live. I knew no one who perished, yet an immense sense of grief gradually overtook me that permeated everything I did that lasted for weeks.
Step away from the media
After traumatic event, it’s easy to get caught up in the tidal wave of reports on television and social media. Realize that in the age of instant reporting by citizens and the news outlets via social media, it typically takes a good twenty-four to forty-eight hours at best to get a clear picture of incidents that have transpired. Understand that a constant stream of graphic images and misinformation can lead to sensory overload.
While it’s natural to have a thirst for updates on what has transpired, the media has a tendency to put a spin on news events. Their goal is to garner viewers. Their thinking, what better way to keep viewers than with fear? Everyone wants to know all they can about the latest, biggest, baddest “it” or “them.” Once you find out what “it” is or who “they” are, the goal for viewers is then all about protecting themselves. Then they’re hooked.
Here’s an insightful article about how the media heightens the public’s sense of anxiety. Curbing your media intake for a few hours or a brief social media detox for a few days can do a world of good.
Do what feeds your soul
I’m a firm believer that once you step into adulthood, no one will look out for your well-being like you. And there are people who were forced to look out for themselves long before then. But few of us actually do what’s necessary to recharge ourselves.
When your body is hungry, you feed it. When you’re tired, you sleep. So it stands to reason that when you are emotionally drained, you should dedicate some time to engage in activities that feed your soul. It’s hard to give care to loved ones, when we have nothing to give.
For some people rejuvenation involves meditating, strategizing, involvement in sort of physical activity. Whatever you choose, find the time to refill your physical, emotional, and spiritual tanks. You and those closest to you are depending on you.
Stay human
Anxiety, anger, and depression are the resulting emotional states that feed on themselves and you. The best way to stop the repeating playlist in your head is to sort out your thoughts by talking them out. Make time to speak openly and honestly with people who know you and your circumstances, and who have a demonstrated history of supporting and challenging you. Tell them what’s going on, what you’re feeling, and how it’s affecting you.
To say that the aforementioned events can be viewed as an assault on your humanity; an attempt to strip you of your self-worth, pride in heritage, and the value of your contributions to society is not an understatement. But remember, in matters of self-esteem, yours is the only opinion that matters.
And once you’re back on your feet, take steps to positively affect change in your sphere of influence and on behalf of your loved ones. Embrace all that you are and strive to become all that God created you to be.
Love one another.
For Zach Freshley and all who don’t know what to do.
